I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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