dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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