I think i sorta joined a cult last night
babies were throwing up all over the place
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I love having hate sex.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
