I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
