I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
