How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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