I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
