I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
