three words: i give head
three words: not that well
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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