Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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