The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm both gender and math confused
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
