I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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