My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
