I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
