How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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