Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
