hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
