If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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