glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
