I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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