Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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