sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize