that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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