And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
