He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Oh god it's open bar.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
