Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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