She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
