Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
