Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
