i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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