Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
