i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
