of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
