the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she smelled like a LAN party
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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