It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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