I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize