Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
