I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
