You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
