i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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