By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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