i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
