Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
