I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
