I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
