everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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