god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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