so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
