I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
