Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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