and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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