your room smells of hookers.
And success
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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