So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize