So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
