Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
