Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
