DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
