she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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