The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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