She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
