she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
