How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
